


Walk Away

by folc4evernaday



Category: Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-18
Updated: 2018-02-18
Packaged: 2019-03-20 13:56:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 463
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13719138
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/folc4evernaday/pseuds/folc4evernaday
Summary: What do you do when the one you care about most wants someone else? A response to an introspective challenge.





	Walk Away

I should have known.  
  
I should have listened.  
  
I should have paid attention to the signs.  
  
But I didn’t. I didn’t listen. I didn’t look. I did what I always did. I steamrolled through and went after what I wanted. What I wanted was Lois Lane. Actually, I guess if I was really honest with myself what I wanted was the idea of Lois Lane. She reminded me of someone I loved. She reminded me of a time when my heart didn’t feel like it was going to break into a million pieces with every breath. She reminded me of a time when the job came with laughter and love.  
  
She never looked at me the way she did him.  
  
She never laughed as loudly or smiled as brightly.  
  
I ignored it.  
  
I ignored the signs.  
  
I did this to myself.  
  
I’m guilty of creating my own heartache.   
  
I’m guilty of creating hers.  
  
I’m guilty of a lot of things.  
  
Most of all I’m guilty of once again finding myself alone and heartbroken. I could fight. I could try and talk her out of it. I could do a lot of things but instead, I walk away knowing despite my best efforts I can’t compete.   
  
I don’t understand it. I don’t want to I guess. I knew it deep in my bones from the first time I saw her look at him, but I ignored it.   
  
He wasn’t good enough for her.   
  
He wasn’t there for her.   
  
He wasn’t what she needed.   
  
These were the things I told myself as I shamelessly chased after her despite being rebuffed time and time again. These were the things I told myself when we had our date and I could see the pain in her eyes as she stared back at me. These were the things I told myself when I saw the pained look in his eyes everytime I showed up at her apartment or at the Planet.  
  
He wasn’t good enough for her.   
  
He wasn’t there for her.   
  
He wasn’t what she needed.   
  
Those were the lies I told myself to justify what I’d done. Those were the lies I told myself to squash the guilt I felt every time I saw her steal a glance toward him or look away. He may not stack up against me or be when it came to the things I thought that mattered: looks, gifts, and being able to show her a good time. No, he didn’t stack up against me in that department but somewhere deep down he checked all the boxes and hit all the high notes on a scale I couldn’t even weigh in on.   
  
She chose him.   
  
She loved him.  
  
She wanted him.  
  
I was just too bullheaded to see it.   
  
~The End


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